Phish Song Rankings: A Bit Of A Confession

Yes, I know, Fall Tour is well underway, but I’ve been experiencing a writing existential crisis of late. It isn’t particularly writer’s block, but more like writer’s paralysis or writer’s indecision. I haven’t expressed this much on my various outlets, other blog, podcast, and another blog, but here goes.

So, I saw a call for a sabermetric focused blog through the SI affiliated group, Fan Sided. Why not? A bigger audience, a bit more national and for the first time really working in a group. Well, the site was (or technically still is) called Statliners and it lasted about a week. In that time, I was blown away at the pace, dedication and sheer ability of those writing. I finally pitched an idea, got it approved and went to work, albeit feeling very intimidated and a bit overwhelmed.

Then it all went to shit. I’m not exactly what all went down, but it went down and the managing editor for the site (not his proper title) resigned. Then there was a mass resignation by at least 80% of the contributors. The site is technically still in limbo. As much as I want to passively resign, I think the better thing to do is resign and not leave the site hanging, but also to give myself a sense of relief and not feeling guilty about not writing more.

Which leads to the other blogs, including this one. The White Sox blog is lurching along, much like the White Sox themselves. I know some of it is that the team, the entire organization is just…boring. Nothing they do is inspiring, entertaining or even remotely surprising. They have been following the same playbook for years from top to bottom and at some point it just isn’t fun to cover.

Then there is this blog, the first blog, the ur-blog. I can’t seem to let it go. I like doing the Phish Song Rankings and other stuff, but it’s a matter of finding time and also considering, is this just a Phish blog (seems to be anymore) or something more? (always was the intention.)

Have I mentioned the podcast? Yeah. Looking at time spent on various blogs, writing projects and other non-work work, the podcast takes up A LOT of time. It has somehow become the top priority and I’m not sure why exactly. I do think it has to do with the, you know, Ph. D. and what not. There is a sense of, “ahh, history, I know this. This is my stuff.” Also, it is just plain labor intensive. Reading, note taking, script writing, recording and editing all need to happen before I hit publish. The rate of one cast every three weeks is bumming me out too. I just feel, with no outside pressure whatsoever, all internal, I need to be better, more consistent.

Where does that leave me? Here. I’m resigning at Statliners. I’m still interested in being a contributor somewhere, part of a team, but this just didn’t work out. I want to keep my Chicago and the White Sox blog, and might try and work that into more of a consortium. We’ll see. I will definitely keep with it, but at my pace.

The podcast still retains its privileged status, because it gives me the most back. It does, however, need to give me some time back. I have a screenplay to edit and send out and I want to get some Phish stuff back on line.  I wouldn’t mind being part of a Phish team either. Also, Phish, always a key player in so much of what I do, does need to give up some space on this blog too. I just banged out this blog in 22 minutes. It may not be the most interesting thing ever, but obviously I needed to get it out.

Oh, let’s not forget in all of this: two jobs, family, attempts at social life and sober life. Yeah, I’m a little busy. Feel free to offer advice 🙂

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