The bummer of it all is that I don’t feel fat. I also don’t look particularly fat and I’m not out of shape by any stretch. I would say 80% of my body looks ok, if not good. Legs, good, upper body ok, arms ok, if slightly pipe-cleaneresque, then there is the midsection. Let’s just say I look like a reasonably fit person wearing a flotation device around his middle. If I wear the wrong pants, the overhang could provide shelter for a gnome. I look best when my arms are over my head, but when I bring them down, the reverb on my waistband looks like an old commercial for Knox Blox.
For the last two years or so I have been maintaining an equilibrium with my weight and fitness that isn’t bad, but it isn’t good. I know what I need to do in order to achieve my goals, but I just lack the discipline at this point. Unfortunately I’m at an age where increased exercise just isn’t going to move the scale in any meaningful way. The best example of this very depressing fact is marathon training. I can’t imagine putting in any more time and effort toward exercise and I pretty much got my weight down to a pedestrian 182. I have since bounced right back up to the upper 180s in the two months since.
Weight Watchers has been a huge help in maintaining my weight and letting me know how badly I’ve been doing in terms of achieving any kind of loss. Their system is simple; instead of counting calories or fat they convert all of the nutritional information into easy to understand points. Then age and current weight are figured in to give a person their daily point total. If you want to stay at a weight, hit your total or a point or two above. The extra points are cheat points and can be spread across the week. Also points can be added through exercise. If you want to lose weight, hit your daily total and not a point above. A point or two below is ok, but Weight Watchers doesn’t recommend that because the program isn’t meant to deprive a person of calories, but give them a more reasonable amount on a daily basis. I have a point target of 37 points. Since Thanksgiving I have recommitted to tracking my food and the results are not pretty. I have yet to hit my target and have crested 50+ points twice. Simple math tells us this is not good. Where have I gone off the rails? What is my weakness?
Another simple answer. Night time is my weakness, followed closely by goodies at work. It’s pretty easy to see, thanks again to Weight Watchers. I can see in chart form how much I consume at various parts of the day and snack time is the greatest my far. When I was really watching and getting my weight down to a surprising place, I would have a small snack in the evening while watching television. Unfortunately, I have kept that habit regardless of how much I’ve eaten during the day. Big lunch? Big dinner? Doesn’t matter because I need my treats at the end of the day.
Which brings me right back where I started, sitting here typing away I realize that if I want to get to the weight I want, changes need to be made. I can’t be satisfied with where I’m at, but where I’m at is so comfortable. I need to eat less in general and less at night in particular. When 8 pm rolls around, however, my resolve is pudding. The rationalizations begin and don’t let up until I’ve devoured 5 fun-sized Kit Kats and a handful of chips. Poof! Another day’s target missed.
I’m sharing all of this because putting this kind of thing out there has a way of motivating me, kind of like committing to the marathon. Signing up for the marathon was the easy part; once I told people it was real. So here it is: I’m recommitting to my Weight Watchers plan. I think that my BMI recommendation is crazy (163), but if I make it under 175 I’ll feel like I accomplished something. I’m not sure what, but at least I’ll feel better. And I won’t look like I’m wearing an inner-tube around my mid-section.