Closing Time: Old Blogs Say Goodbye

It’s been awhile since I’ve dumped some of my old MySpace blogs here and looking these over it seemed like the right time to drop the last of these. It was originally called “Blogging Through a Dissertation” now that the dissetation is finally showing signs of completion (more on that later, I promise!) these entries are fun, a little nostalgic and a good way to remember that I actually made it this far.

Current mood:bouncy
Still feeling the positive effects of a successful conference in Baltimore. While only having three people in the audience is a little disheartening, it was nice that one person came specifically to hear my presentation. Yippee ..1! I also held my own with full faculty members from a selection of Universities, even out performed a few, though the bar was pretty low if we go by the worst performance. Yippee ..2! Finally, found out from a faculty member here at LUC that we attended regional conferences of the same organization. Feels good to know that I’m working on something that can get accepted at a pretty high level. I know, I know, getting a paper into a conference isn’t exactly a challenge, but hey it is something. No more travel though. It just isn’t worth the headache and time away from the family. I’ll stay local. Back to work, feeling good…

Music: Zappa, Broadway the Hardway. Good election day music

Thinking is hard work
Current mood:determined
So, back from the holiday and putting the shoulder to the wheel, as it were. I received only a handful of comments/suggestions from reader ..2, but they were the right questions. Trying to answer the points brought up in a concise manner has proven to be a bit more difficult than I had bargained for. It is good stuff, because I can literally see how this is improving my work and making it better in the long term as well, pushing me to consider things from a different perspective. Having said that, it is hard to believe an additioinal 100 words could take so fucking long to write…

Music: Trey “Last Tube”

been awhile
Current mood:stressed
Stop working, stop blogging. Back to work… Things are relatively ok. Still waiting for one of my readers to get back on my proposal. It has been two months, and I’m a wee bit peeved at this point. I’ve submitted some stuff for publication and got the teaching bug again. Oh well, it will help with the bills, well maybe one bill, it doesn’t exactly break the bank. I must say, I’m sick of being a student, I’m ready for all of this to be over. Here’s hoping 2007 is the last year of being a student…

the waiting game
Current mood:frustrated
And so it begins, or not. I’m feeling good in the whole process right now, the comments that I’ve received on the proposal are good, beneficial. Now it is just a matter of hearing back from the powers that be and gearing up for the defense. It just seems that for every day that I accomplish something, it takes the committee folk a week to respond etc. I’m at a place where action is required, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of the game. It is very frustrating to tell the truth…

Mar 15, 2007
Keeping at it
Current mood:busy
I haven’t written much here in awhile, but I’ve been working. and working. and working… What is really difficult these days is not equating lots of work with a good day. No work = a bad day. Life can’t work like that, not for long anyway. I don’t want my world to be dominated by how productive I feel. What happens when productivity stops? Do I lose my identity? Nope, there is more to life than work, a good day can come whenever I let it. I hate to say it, but back to work…

May 21, 2007
Here’s hoping…
Current mood:sleepy
I just can’t get motivated to write. Unfortunately, I really need to get going! I hope by scribbling a little here, I will get back into it, at least for a little while today. It’s the post draft blues really. I’m not a big fan of editing and revision, and yet those are key parts of this whole frigging process. I’d much rather tinker with my fantasy baseball team, drink coffee, and listen to music. Sad isn’t it?

Remove Jun 4, 2007
And so it goes…
Current mood:cranky
Writing and more writing. The only problem is the weekend! I just can’t take more than a day off from writing or I come back, like today, and it is like writing through mud. I just can’t get going! Oh, well put in a real hour, as opposed to the “check my e-mail, look at the fantasy baseball team” hour of writing. Some work is better than no work, but not by much.

Jun 21, 2007
slow, slower, slowest
Current mood:lethargic
Can’t get moving, so unmotivated the past few days. I would like to be doing more, a lot more, and yet I’ve got nothing. Maybe it’s summer, maybe it’s lack of sleep, or maybe it’s just me. Reminds me of a story: I was working at a college and a young writer and I got into a discussion about discipline and work and writing. He said ultimately “it comes down to either watching the Simpsons at 10, or working for another hour. I need to work that extra hour.” He has since gone on to publish 3 novels (and counting.) I continue to choose the Simpsons. Which leads to feels of…guilt? self-loathing? ennui? I don’t know. But what I do know is that ideas, thoughts, concepts come and lately, they just go. Not a good feeling. No, the feeling of “I should be doing more” and wasted creativity is absolutely crushing me these days. I think the best I can hope for today is a clean kitchen, after that maybe some other work.


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