The Weight

It has been an amazing week. Nothing extraordinary is going on, no great event to report, at least not during this calendar week. Last week, however, I finished a complete draft of my dissertation. 210 pages of some good, some bad, and some pretty mediocre work was sent off to my advisor. The enormous weight that has lifted off of me is almost impossible to describe. I’ve caught myself thinking almost every day this past week, “well, maybe I can catch a couple of hours and work on the dissertation.” And yet, there is no dissertation to work on at the moment. It is down in Mexico, getting ripped a part, as my advisor describes this part of the process. Even so, I haven’t felt this stress free since I took my comprehensive exams. It has been a completely guilt-free week.

I do feel like I’m resurfacing after a long period of seclusion. Going to work, doing my dad duties and the like, make seclusion as I once new it almost impossible. I can honestly say, however, that my mind has been elsewhere during the last month and a half. Even when I wasn’t physically working on the dissertation, I was thinking about it, working things out, trying to get it to make at least a modicum of sense. I think on that small objective I succeeded, but we’ll see. Anyway, since I sent it along, I’ve been very much in the moment, especially concerning my new house. Yes, you read right, I’ve bought a house! I have loved every chore I’ve done so far, mostly cleaning, but still a great feeling.

If I can take one last positive from the submission of the draft it’s this: The feeling of relief makes me want to completely finish even more. The satisfaction of getting the whole draft together is great, I can’t imagine what the end is going to be like. I’ll probably sleep for a week.

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